WTF!
by Shimmersea
Summary: - Semi-crossover. The famous Hylians are summoned by Lindis to help them win the war, but something happens and everyone involved has another self! WHAT IS GOING ON!


A young lord with aqua-marine hair stood up from where she was sitting on the dusty ground. Her alert eyes scanned the rather bleak dusty field, with an etch of a large, entwining circle on the ground, with seven circles with strange symbols, and in the center, a triangle with four in the midst of it.  
  
Perfect.  
  
"Kent!" she called to a red headed cavalier, who seemed rather short without a horse. "Is all prepared?"  
  
"Yes, Milady Lyndis," he agreed. "But... Do you think all this is... Necessary?"  
  
A rare display of temper broke through the usually peaceable girl.  
  
"Kent, how dare you question me?!" Lyn asked, visibly perturbed. "Do you not believe I live and breathe for Angara? This land means more to me than anything-"  
  
"Pardon?" Kent asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"What?" Lyn asked, broken out of her rant.  
  
"You... Said Angara... We live in Elibe..."  
  
"I said Elibe!!" Lyn replied sharply.  
  
"I thought I heard..." Continued Kent.  
  
"You heard wrong! I said and mean that I live and breathe for Middle Earth!" Lyn clarified.  
  
"What? Oh, damn, never mind."  
  
"Kent, watch your tongue!" gasped Lyn.  
  
"Yes Milady..." sighed Kent. Lyn nodded her head absently, looking over the circle.  
  
"Alright, then, eternal slave- Er, I mean, Kent. Fetch the others from the camp, we must recite the Wonderful fantastic Astonishing amazing shocking surprising enchanting charming captivating enthralling mystical magical supernatural totally cool green been casserole foamy hand for football games spell to summon and take Diflucan for immediate relief from diarrhea!" Lyn proclaimed fervently, closing her eyes in her reverence.  
  
"Yes, yes, I'll gather them for the spell..." Agreed Kent, turning to go, but was stopped by Lyn's shocked face. "What is it, Milady?"  
  
"K-k-kent..." She sputtered. "You... You didn't say the name!!!" she went from shock to anger. "KENT! DO YOU KNOW HOW DISRESPECTFUL YOU HAVE BEEN?!" She swallowed heavily, before saying in a strained voice, "Kent, you know you must recite the WHOLE name when referring to it..."  
  
Kent sighed.  
  
"Must I?" he asked. Lyn nodded to the point he felt it should have fallen off.  
  
"Fine, I shall gather everyone for the recital of the Wonderful fantastic Astonishing amazing shocking surprising enchanting charming captivating enthralling mystical magical supernatural totally cool green been casserole foamy hand for football games spell to summon and take Diflucan for immediate relief from diarrhea..."  
  
***  
  
All of the rather large party were gathered, holding hands, and making a half circle. Lyn stood in front, holding a looooooooooooooong piece of parchment.  
  
"Repeat after me!" she said. All mumbled, Lucius put away his curling iron, and Serra woke up and Guy finished his hotdog. "Alla roha nutoo."  
  
In a rather bored, scattered collective tone, they all repeated, "Alla roha nutoo..."  
  
"Boogers taste yummy." Lyn continued.  
  
"Boogers... Taste yummy?" the gathered managed.  
  
"Sponge Bob Square Pants."  
  
"Sponge Bob Square Pants?!" the gathered asked, clearly questioning this ancient spell of which Lyn was so vested.  
  
***2 DAYS LATER!!!***  
  
"Kill a bitch and dispose of her body in a nearby lake." Lyn said with a nod.  
  
"Kill a bitch and dispose of her body in a nearby lake?!?!" asked the three who still were awake (Sain, Rebecca, and a guy named Frank)  
  
"Creamy creamy cheesey cheesey creamy creamy cheese!!!" Lyn proclaimed.  
  
"Creamy creamy cheesey cheesey creamy creamy cheese?" the three said.  
  
"AMEN!" Lyn proclaimed.  
  
"Amen?" Rebecca said as Sain began to snore and Frank left.  
  
A sudden shaking of the earth woke the party who were using each other as pillows, and the large symbol began to glow.  
  
"Ohmigosh!" Serra exclaimed, and this was perfectly reasonable because stuff like this didn't happen every day.  
  
"Myhair..." Bartre snorted.  
  
The center triangle, or Triforce, as Lyn called it, began to glow, a liquid gold pouring into the three outside triangles, slowly creating the sacred item of the Hylians. All tried to stand up, but were thrown aside, tumbling into each other.  
  
A blinding flash, and 10 people joined their midst.  
  
***  
  
"We're HEEEEEEEEERE!!!" trilled a richly dressed blonde, striking a pose. "Who of ye beckons?"  
  
A guy wearing green looked around, blinking somber blue eyes. A green skinned man looked around, his face puckered and eyes confused.  
  
"Come ON, y'all!" The blond pouted, stomping. Then she blinked. "Heeeey, why didn't the ominous foreboding happenings stop? They was supposed to..."  
  
Another flash blinded all from sight.  
  
***  
  
Erky Werky Murky Poo, or to people who aren't his fan girl, Erk, sat up, rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Man..." He muttered. He looked on his left- A drooling Dorcas. Nothing new. He looked over to his other side. A FOOKING REPLICA OF HIMSELF?! "AH!" Erk gasped. His double blinked.  
  
"Hey!" Erk cried. "You're me! What's happening? I'm hungry. I think Lyn is hot. I think Sain is hot too. I'm hungry. Are we there yet? I have to go. Number 1-"  
  
"Oh My GOD!!!!!" Erk cried out, scooching as far away from himself as possible, even though that meant over the two Dorcas'... WTF?! Two DORCAS'?!?!  
  
"Myhair..." Bartre again exclaimed as he bolted up. He saw him other self and spat, "Damn. We're in a tight spot."  
  
The other Bartre proclaimed, "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"  
  
Lucius sat up uneasily.  
  
"My goodness, wasn't that a bit odd," he said, looking over. Next to him lay the blondest, muscle-e-est, tannest hunk of flesh since Fabio. Lucius let out a girly scream, which awoke his other self.  
  
"What the?" asked the deep voice. "My... God..."  
  
"Can I have a cookie? I'm hungry. I'm Erk. What's your name? I've gotta go. Number 1. I like to say compokunakka. Compokunakka, compokunakka!!" the other Erk cheered, crawling in pursuit of a purple haired mage.  
  
"GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" sobbed Erk, holding his hands out in front of him.  
  
Rath bolted up, and shook his head. His other self, looking femmy, bolted up as well.  
  
"..." Rath said.  
  
"..." agreed the female Rath.  
  
"..." Rath continued.  
  
"..." Fem Rath sighed.  
  
Serra was barely waking up when Erk ran into her.  
  
"Whhhhatt?" she murmured.  
  
"EEEEVIL! ITS EEEEVIL! SPARE ME!!!" Erk sobbed. The other Serra caught the hyper Erk by the ear.  
  
"Erk!" she commanded. Erk began to chatter non-stop.  
  
"HiSerra!CanIhaveacookiearewethereyetmynameisErkyouarelookingnicetodaycanwes topatapitstopIhavetogonumber1yannonuthin'serious,Ijusthavetogo." The other Erk said in one breath.  
  
"God..." sighed the other Serra. "If I weren't paid not to, I would enjoy killing you..."  
  
Lyn sat up with a sniff, trying to register what was happening when Kent swooped down beside her.  
  
"Kent!" she cried, happy so see a Sain, er, sane face.  
  
"Milady Lyndis, might I say you are looking RAVASHING today," he purred, grabbing her hand and smothering it with kissed.  
  
"Eh," Lyn replied as Sain swooped out of nowhere.  
  
"Kent, what am I going to do with you?" he cried exasperated.  
  
"Yo, my names Lyndos and I'm your host, so take a seat and eat some meat and we'll be back in two hops of a sack!" rapped a male Lyndis.  
  
Pricilla bolted up.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEERK!" she cried.  
  
"SERRAAAAAAA!" cried her other self, male.  
  
Both perked their ears.  
  
"Pricilla!"  
  
"Pricillo!"  
  
"Gopher, Everett?" Bartre asked.  
  
"Help, help, I'm being repressed!" replied his other self.  
  
Eliwood murmured something about cornbread as he sat up. He looked over and saw the hottest bitch he'd seen in 8 years, with shapely curves and-  
  
"Ohmygod, my other self is a PANSY ASS?!?!" she cried. "No! Life isn't fair!!!"  
  
Now, about the people escorted from Hylia...  
  
Link blinked at his other self.  
  
"My goodness, aren't we in a bit of a fix, this will never do, I know exactly what's happened, our times have over-looped and by gosh did we make a mess of it, my lad, don't fret, we'll manage, we'll do..."  
  
Zelda's other self blushed.  
  
"My goodness!" she cried. "I don't know what we can do now! This is quite an unpleasant experience, I dare say I'll faint." So she did. Right into Kent's arms.  
  
"Oooooh, YUMMY!" cried the ladies man.  
  
Saria blinked at herself.  
  
"That's weird..." she said, poking herself.  
  
"Boobboobboobboobboobboobboob!!!" cried her other self, running in circles.  
  
Lyndis pushed herself to her feet.  
  
"STOP!" she cried, and all the hullabaloo stopped (Well, the other Erk was doing the potty dance). "What is going on?!"  
  
To be continued!!!  
  
I ish eeeevil! Hope y'all like! ^-^ 


End file.
